Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
Randomize
