Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
