My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
He kissed a someone with a penis
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
Randomize
