She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
my poor anus
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
