Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Randomize
