girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
