your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
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