i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
