i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Randomize
