he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Randomize
