And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Randomize
