i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
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