SEEEEXXX PLEASE
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Randomize
