good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
