the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
