how can u be prego again
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
