I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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