You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
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