he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
