Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
