dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
In other news, I just burned my penis
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
My ass is underappreciated
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Randomize
