you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
I just gargled with NyQuil
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
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