3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Randomize
