Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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