Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Randomize