He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
NoShamevember. You game?
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Randomize
