so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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