nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
