It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
so let's talk penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
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