i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
