I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
