this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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