My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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