so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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