I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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