When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
