I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Randomize
