i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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