i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Randomize
