I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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