should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Randomize
