What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Randomize
