i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Everything about him screamed your future.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Randomize
