Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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