Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
Randomize
