he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize