wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
