I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
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