mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize
