Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
