Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
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