Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Randomize
