I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
stop calling my apartment porn island.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
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