:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
