so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
