i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
Randomize
