Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Randomize
