You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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