Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Randomize
