hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
