"it" just moved
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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