LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
It was like getting head from an anaconda
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Randomize
