Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
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