More tranny stories later!
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
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