They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
I hope mine doesn't look like that
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
so much tequila, so little girl.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
