just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
