SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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